Torches and Pitchforks

This morning I have been feeling terrible about my choices. What was I thinking having our boys so close together? They make the most terrible messes, Leland is always following Caius, copying his dangerous stunts, they end up hurting each other at least once a day. And what if we aren't giving them everything they need? What if they grow up to resent me or Neal or each other?

Then I sat down to look at pictures, which almost always makes me feel better. Our life isn't perfect. It never will be. But, Caius and Leland love each other. They have fun together, they miss each other when they are apart. They are the best little buddies there ever were. When I take a deep breath and think about the big picture, there's no way they'll hate each other when they grow up. My siblings and I tortured each other and went through some things together that probably should have torn us apart and maybe did for a while, but I still love them. And I know they love me just as much. I'm proud of my brothers and sisters. I'm sitting here thinking about each of them individually, and how they've all turned out. They are all GOOD people, and I know if it came down to it, any of them would be there for me if I needed them.

Caius and Leland will probably continue to hurt each other, and destroy things as they grow up, but I know they love each other.

Cuddled together watching a movie one afternoon. 

Happy to be awake and alive and messy in the morning.

Holding onto each other tight before they trip over their own feet and fall over---laughing the whole way down.

Tiiiimmmbeeerrrr.

They have all kinds of messy fun in the tub together.

I think Leland wishes Jerrick could join in with them while they have their destructive fun. I was just telling my friend the other day, Jerrick is rolling all over the place now, and in just a couple of months he'll be crawling around after the big boys, all three of them with their torches and pitchforks, mutilating our house.

When they are grown men they'll have all kinds of stories to laugh hysterically about. And they will share a bond that so many people don't have with their siblings. In the end, even though it's been hard for me, this is good for them. Neal and I love our little men.